When someone you care about has died, choosing flowers can feel like one more difficult decision at an already painful time. You want the tribute to say what words can't, and you don't want to get it wrong. The good news is that there is rarely a "wrong" choice when it comes from the heart. A little guidance on types, colours and etiquette can make the process far easier.

This guide walks you through how to choose funeral flowers in London, from understanding the different tributes to knowing when and where to send them. Our team at Elisana Florist in North London has helped families and friends for many years, and we're always here to talk it through.

Step 1: Consider Your Relationship to the Person Who Has Died

Who is sending the flowers shapes what is appropriate.

• Immediate family (spouse, children, parents, siblings) often order the main tributes, such as a casket spray, wreath or a personalised tribute that sits with the coffin.

• Extended family and close friends may choose a wreath, sheaf, basket or posy, either individually or as a group.

• Colleagues, neighbours and acquaintances often send a smaller arrangement, or a sympathy bouquet to the family home.

You don't need to spend a large amount to show you care. A simple posy or sheaf, delivered with a thoughtful message, is just as meaningful as a large tribute.

Step 2: Check the Family's Wishes First

Before you order anything, find out what the family would like. This avoids duplication and respects their wishes.

• "Family flowers only": some families ask that only they send flowers for the coffin. In that case, you can send flowers to the family home instead.

• Donations in lieu: many families request donations to a chosen charity instead of flowers. Respect this, or give a donation and send a small bouquet to the home if it feels appropriate.

• Faith and cultural traditions: customs vary widely across London's diverse communities. Some traditions, such as Jewish funerals, generally favour donations over flowers, while others welcome garlands or specific colours. If you're unsure, ask the family or the funeral director.

The funeral director is usually the best person to ask about the order of service, the venue and where tributes should be delivered. If you're still unsure, call the florist, and we'll help you work it out.

Step 3: Understand the Different Types of Funeral Flowers

Funeral flowers come in many traditional shapes, each with its own purpose. Here is a plain-English guide, with examples and prices from our Funeral Flowers collection (prices may change, so please check the product pages). You can also browse the full range under All Funerals.

Casket Sprays

A casket spray is a large arrangement placed on top of the coffin. It is usually ordered by the immediate family and is often the focal point of the service. Examples include the Classic Selection Casket Spray 3ft (£135), the Lily and Rose Casket Spray, Pink 3ft (£160) and the elegant Callay Lily and Orchid Casket Spray (£250).

Wreaths

Funeral wreaths are circular tributes that symbolise eternal life and love with no beginning or end. They are a classic choice from family, friends or colleagues. Options include the Classic Selection Wreath Blue and White (£55), the Classic Pink Wreath (£95) and the Classic Red Wreath (£95).

Sheaves

A funeral sheaf is a loose, natural bunch of flowers, laid flat and tied with a ribbon. It is a gentle, affordable option that suits friends, neighbours and colleagues. Look at the Classic Blue and White Sheaf (£40), the Calla Lily Sheaf white (£70) or the Classic Pink Rose Sheaf (£70).

Sprays and Standing Arrangements

Funeral sprays are elegant, teardrop-style arrangements, such as the Carnation and Germini Spray White (£65). For the service itself, Funeral Service arrangements, like the Contemporary Standing Spray (£155) or the Pink Rose, Lily and Gladioli Service Arrangement (£185), are designed to stand at the front of the venue.

Baskets and Posies

For a smaller, softer tribute, funeral baskets and funeral posies are wonderful choices. Try the Cream and White Basket (£50), the Rose and Freesia Basket (£55) or the Classic Lilac and Pink Posy (£50).

Crosses, Hearts and Pillows

Funeral crosses such as the Orchid Cross (£150) suit those with a Christian faith, while funeral hearts such as the Classic White Heart with White Roses (£145) express deep love. Funeral pillows and cushions, such as the Classic White Cushion (£135) or the Classic White Pillow (£185), offer a peaceful, resting symbol. We also offer a Cross and candlebox range for more personal designs.

Personalised Tributes and Letters

A personalised tribute can reflect who someone was. Our Funeral Tributes include the DAD Tribute (£175), the Anchor Tribute (£164) and the Butterfly Tribute (£250). Letters spell out a name or title such as "AUNT" (from £240) in flowers.

Tributes for a Child

For the loss of a baby or child, we offer gentle Funeral Children designs, including the Baby Spray in Pink, White and Blue and Lilac (£70 each). If you would like help choosing, please call us, and we'll handle the order with great care.

Step 4: Choose Meaningful Colours and Flowers

There are no strict rules, but certain flowers and colours are traditionally associated with funerals and sympathy.

• White: peace, purity and remembrance. It is the most common and always appropriate.

• Pink and lilac: gentleness, love and comfort. Lovely for a mother, grandmother, sister or friend.

• Red: deep love and respect. Often chosen by partners or children.

• Blue and white: calm and serenity, a popular combination for men.

• Yellow: warmth and friendship, and often chosen to celebrate a life lived brightly. Our guide to the meaning of yellow roses explains why.

Some flowers carry specific symbolism:

• Lilies are widely associated with the soul's return to peace. Read more in What Is the Meaning of the Lily Flower?

• Roses stand for love and respect.

• Carnations have long been used for devotion and remembrance.

• Orchids suggest elegance and enduring love.

If the person had a favourite flower or colour, using it can make a tribute feel deeply personal. A football team's colours, a garden variety, or a favourite shade can all be woven in. Tell your florist, and we'll do our best to include them.

Step 5: Set a Comfortable Budget

You do not have to spend a lot to give a meaningful tribute. On our funeral range, you'll find options from around £40 for a sheaf or £50 for a posy or basket, up to larger tributes and casket sprays at £135-£250 and beyond. The right budget is the one that feels comfortable for you.

If several people want to contribute, consider a joint tribute from a group of friends, a team or a family branch. It reduces cost for each person and often creates a more impressive arrangement.

Step 6: Write a Message That Comes From the Heart

A short note on the card is often what the family remembers most. You don't need perfect words, just honest ones. A few ideas:

• "With love and fond memories. Always in our hearts."

• "Thinking of you all at this difficult time."

• "Thank you for everything you gave us. Rest in peace."

• "With deepest sympathy from your friends at [workplace/club]."

Add your name or names clearly, so the family knows who sent the tribute. If it's from a group, such as colleagues or neighbours, say so.

Step 7: Get the Delivery Details Right

Practical details matter, especially in a large city like London.

1. Confirm the venue and time. Check with the family or funeral director where the service will be held, such as a chapel, crematorium, church or cemetery, and what time.

2. Decide where to send the flowers. Tributes are typically delivered to the funeral director's premises ahead of the service, or directly to the venue if the family has asked for that. Sympathy bouquets can go to the family home.

3. Order early. Larger tributes, personalised designs and letters take time to make, so contact us as soon as you can. For anything urgent, call our team.

4. Allow for London traffic. Travel across the city can be unpredictable, so we plan delivery timings carefully. See our Delivery page for details.

5. Check what happens afterwards. Some families ask for flowers to be donated to a care home or hospice after the service, or taken home. Let us know if you have a preference.

For tributes that need a personal conversation, contact us or call our Wood Green shop on 020 8888 4777. You can also read our compassionate overview, Understanding Funeral Flowers: A Compassionate Guide to Wreaths, Sprays, and Sympathy Tributes.

Beyond the Funeral: Sympathy Flowers for the Family

Grief doesn't end with the service. Sending flowers to the bereaved family at home, either before the funeral or in the weeks afterwards, is a thoughtful way to show you're still thinking of them. Our Sympathy range offers soft, comforting designs, and a hand-tied bouquet, a vase arrangement or a Florist Choice arrangement can be sent the same day for local deliveries through our Same Day Flowers service. For a calm, tasteful look, the Beautifully Simple collection works well in white or cream.

If you'd like to include a small gift, browse Gifts such as Leonidas Chocolates, Greetings Cards or Vases for the flowers to stand in. And if you are looking for more guidance on choosing arrangements for any occasion, our guide to choosing the perfect bouquet in North London may help.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the most appropriate flowers for a funeral?
White flowers such as lilies and roses are the most traditional, but soft pinks, lilacs, blues and yellows are also widely used. Personal favourites are often the best choice.

Who should send the casket spray?
Usually the immediate family. Friends and colleagues typically send wreaths, sheaves, baskets or posies.

Should I send flowers to the funeral or to the home?
It depends on the family's wishes. Tributes go to the funeral director or venue, while sympathy bouquets go to the family's home. When in doubt, ask the family or funeral director.

How much should I spend on funeral flowers?
There's no fixed amount. Many people spend between £40 and £100 for a sheaf, wreath or posy, while larger tributes cost more. Choose what feels right.

Is it too late to order flowers if the funeral is soon?
Please call us as soon as possible, and we'll do everything we can to help. Larger or personalised tributes need more notice.

What should I write on a funeral flower card?
A short, sincere message such as "With deepest sympathy" or "Always in our hearts" is perfect. Include your name so the family knows who the tribute is from.

Can I send flowers if the family requested donations instead?
It's best to respect their request. You can donate and, if you'd like, send a small bouquet to the family's home with a kind note.

Final Thoughts

Choosing the right funeral flowers in London is really about showing love and respect in a way that feels true to the person you've lost and supportive to those left behind. Start with the family's wishes, choose a tribute that suits your relationship, pick colours and flowers that carry meaning, and add a message from the heart.

When you're ready, visit our Funeral Flowers collection, or call the Elisana Florist team on 020 8888 4777. We're based at 10 Turnpike Parade, Wood Green, London N15 3EA, and we will be glad to help you every step of the way.